From the Back Row

I have always been a front row gal…always! Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been on a praise team since I was 15 and it’s just easier to get to the stage from the front. Could be that I grew up in the front row? My momma was also part of the worship team when I was a kid so again, that’s probably why. But in recent weeks, we’ve moved to the back…. Having 3 small kids in the front felt stressful and I didn’t like the pressure I was putting on my kids to be “good” or “perfect” that’s not fair on them or me. I had felt that way anyway and I guess God works in mysterious ways because another circumstance just made it feel like a need.

Anywho… here we are in the back row. Yesterday was our first Sunday since becoming back rowers that there was no children’s church and our 4 year old son was in with us through the sermon. At one point before the service started, he was giving the sweetest little smile and winking, I immediately assumed it was to another kiddo but no, it was Mr. Stanley, a patriarch in our church in the 90 year old range. SMILING as big as he could and winking at my boy, it was precious!! In the service not once did I feel anxious about my kids wiggling or needing to go potty, I wasn’t afraid they were being distracting and I just felt seen and loved and accepted!! I’ve never NOT felt those things by my church family but I suffer from a horrible overthinking brain and I will create scenarios that aren’t actually a thing, it’s a struggle! Yesterday just felt different.

We took the Lord’s Supper yesterday as well. In the front one leader of our church would serve us the bread and the cup…we’d really see only one. But in the back…all of them, my kids can see and watch every leader of our church serve their church family and all walk back up the middle together in a beautiful and mighty way!! Godly men serving their church! I pray my babies always see that! For what a blessing that truly is.

Now… I don’t want to deter anyone from sitting in the front, there’s certainly less distraction and the water’s fine. But in this season of life, with young kids, I think sitting in the back is just what we needed. No matter where you sit, I hope you’re sitting. I hope you’re there, in your church or trying out churches to find your family. A friend in Sunday school yesterday shared how comforting it is to know you have so much more than just a few family members when there’s a time of need….she realized she has a huge family to love on her! The unconditional, beautiful love of Jesus, shown through his body of believers.

 So just go sit…. Go find your family!